I would absolutely love a game mode with proximity chat! As a temporary game mode with a separate queue, just to let us try it out. Maybe it could have a dB-manager so people (or at least survivors) were only able to murmur or whisper and everything with loud talking or screaming would be muted? It’s be really fun to frantically whisper “the killer is coming, run” or murmur “I’m gonna get ya!” in a chase, or hear a survivor whisper some instructions and then their audio cut out from screaming due to a jump scare.

I think it could be a sort of middle road if there was a voice option for added friends in the game so that people can chat with their friends across platforms. That way people who want to chat with strangers can add people to their friends list while in any lobby (maybe with a category for “besties” or favourites to be able to sort irl-friends into), with the extra step to VC with in-game friends still keeping away the expectation that everyone can/should freely VC with strangers.

Without voice or text chat enabled that expectation of “should use VC to not be a burden on your team when they’re trying to communicate” is if course a projection, but it’s still powerful, and there’s no way of knowing how true that projection is without actually hearing from your teammates. So there’s really now way out of it besides “get over it” (which isn’t easy after a lifetime of learning to cater to others unspoken expectations)… Or by playing a game where there is no option of VC, so there cannot be any possible expectations of it, and no downside of not enabling it.

For something one does to unwind I don’t feel like unpacking and facing deep-seated psychologically ingrained issues and the level of discomfort that brings, so it’s easier to choose games where that issue isn’t an issue.

And now, after playing for a few years I feel confident enough to actually consider playing games with mic on. But I wouldn’t get there if those were the only ones available, I’d just find a different hobby or play offline.

It was the reason I started playing it.

It’s one of the first things I bring up when recommending it to other women who aren’t playing online multiplayer games usually.

Most women I know who play it don’t play any other multiplayer games online, at least none with VC.

Games with VC usually do have the option to turn it off, but doing so you’ll have less information than players who use it. You’ll be a detriment to your team if they would otherwise have had efficient comms. You are turning off a feature, where the game is built on the expectations that it is turned on. I’d rather not have that option at all and instead have everyone be on the same page, with no expectations of comms with strangers. One less thing to consider, say no to, to disappoint others with.

Nowadays I’d probably use VC if they had it, but I never would have started playing if they did, so I’m glad there are still games where it’s not even an option.

So I’d say for a fair percentage that absolutely is the reason. That, and the horror icons.

Well… YOU could read papers. YOU could look up from your phone and notice the flyers.

The possibilities are there. There are other ways to get info about local events than from fb. You don’t have to wait for everyone else to pick up a paper.

Ps. I have plenty of friends and involvement, which most of my current social circle I gathered after moving alone to a new city, without using social media. I lost a lot of acquaintances by leaving fb, but none that I actually miss. My friends are the ones I put effort into keeping in touch with.

People exist offline. We’ve done so for millennia, and still do.

I have a local newspaper subscription that often have articles/info and/or ads for local shows and festivals - one can even go to the library to read it every day for free if paying isn’t in one’s budget (but I like paying for it, it’s a lot of fluff but sometimes they dig up something about how my city is being managed or mismanaged, and they have shone a light on a few desperately needed changes in local government).

I also know most venues in the area that host small bands and can check their website or get their newsletter through email.

There’s also flyers being taped up at the store, library and on maintenance boxes and poles around town for current events and activities (that’s how I found my knitting club!).

There are probably ticket vendors where you can flag certain bands or venues or maybe genres and get an email when something is booked in your area.

Just walking my city, talking to people, looking in shops and venues, and being present outside I get a ton of info about local events. I don’t miss FB. I don’t need a global mega-site to tell me what’s happening outside my own door.